Teh Snowes

Cefiroluls is ATROCIOUS with it.



But it wubs it ^_^

That is all.

And after a quick shower, I've now mustered up some can-be-bothered to clarify that little statement. I have finally managed to bring the Whale down to the bottom of the hill, and for a quick drive. By now you should be thinking "Well no shizzee it's terrible in the snow, whales swim, they don't slither over ice". You would be correct.

After what must be the greatest expenditure of effort in my life, well, after the blog post from a few days ago, a full 2-3 hours spent of shovelling snow yesterday amounted to absolutely nothing. And it was truly effort. I broke out into a sweat. Out in the snow! I was actually taking off clothes as I was getting too heated, much to my neighbours visual pleasure. So. Would the Cee'd, blocking the Cefiroluls slide path into white oblivion, easily manoeuvre out in this vast building foundation I had just dug out of the snow? MMMMM. No. Just helplessly spin its wheel, beach itself on the snow, and die. After repeated efforts of digging out, further useless wheel spinning, and not actually moving down the hill but rather, across it, I made like a French man and made love.

Then I surrendered. I had evening plans, so I decided, on a rather naive presumption - TFL said trains were cancelled till 10AM...well, all day - to walk down to the station to catch a train. That wasn't there. It must be said that my previous fondness for snow has long since melted. It made me miss an appointment at Boisdales. Snow, thine mortal enemy forever more. Anyway. On to today. I had noticed a particular idiot that has doing his best attempt to, well, I don't know, what else would you categorise a tool in a Range Rover trying to do a turn in the road on a very steep hill covered in a layer of 12" of snow in the proximity of a neighbours' car? Regardless. If his mobile church managed to get up the hill...then. Maybe. MAY OF THE BES. The snow had melted enough to get the cars down. JUBILASHUNS!!1!one!

So, much digging, much scowling at some annoying abortions/kids - I know I'm as tall as them, I don't know why they insist on talking to me? Can't they realise they're repulsive little turds and I am no fan of such - and. Eventually. The Cee'd got down. Woot! Ran straight up, Cefiroluls turn. So. Wow. I thought traction was bad in the wet. It basically has none. I think the tyres are made of teflon. As. No actual forward movement, other than the force of gravity repelling this lunar mass. The luls is right with the naming of the car, for at any hint of spinning wheels the car goes "LULS" and its sideways. NO. I want to go THERE, not in a circle! "LULS" and I'm facing the sky. o_o

Again. Much digging, and, eventually. Got it down! As well as doing the street a service by essentially ploughing the road. I did notice a peculiarity though - the car is leaking a yellow liquid from the passenger-side rear. It's odourless though, and petrol filler is on the other side. Hmm. I'll need to have it checked. So. What's the car like driving? Terrible. But awesome. Anything approaching pressure on the throttle produces wheelspin, which as I've mentioned generates laterluls movement, and not forward motion. However, its all very docile and easy to catch, despite being on largely frictionless surface of snow/ice/baby fairies. Going down a quiet road, I decided to unleash my inner Burberry and execute some rubbish flicks with a bit of throttle for brief instances of lateral luls, to which I'd counter and catch. It just all happens in pleasing slow motion.

Ah Cefiroluls indeed ^_^.

Also. I need my snow tyres. NAO.