The Downward Spiral of Expenditure Henceforth, Commence!

Can you feel the drama? No? Well screw you, that's the intent. FEEL IT. Or Feel Me ;)

Barely a couple of weeks into ownership of the Cefiroluls, and tumultuous expenditure pattern is starting to take shape, with nary an end in sight - Engine conversions, new wheels, winter tyres, suspension components. All items that I haven't spent the money I don't have on o_o.

What I have spent money on however is fuel, and lots of it. Well, actually, not too much of it, but I am a label whore, as well as other more common classification of whores, and insist on solely using Shell V-Power. Even at £1.30 a liter. For comparisons sake, a tank of Shell V-Power costs around £70, in Saudi Arabia I was filling the combined fuel tanks of another Nissan Inline-6 Powered vehicle, for £8. For twice the volume of fuel. Granted though, that Nissan in question (the venerable Y61 Patrol) consumed that doubled volume of petrol in about the same distance. It is also blessed with the aerodynamic qualities of a goat. In saying that though, considering the Cefiroluls is a moderately massed car, with an archaic Single Camshaft inline-6 engine, it didn't fare too badly considering my occasionally lead foot, running about 550km for the 52.40l of petrol added, equating to around 27.37MPG.

On picking myself up from the Shell Forecourt floor after filling the fuel tank up with £73.76, and attempting (and subsequently failing miserably) to get a discount by doing a little dance, making a little love, I then thought it would be wise to try out and document a few fuel saving techniques. So I took a poop. Lighter weight and all.

Ok, not really, but I did check and inflate the tyres up to 30psi, and so it goes. Yes, I'm going so far as documenting fuel costs. And I have all but 1 receipts kept as well. No, you wouldn't be saying anything new in telling me I have far too much time on my hands. And yes, it's very annoying for me to answer my own questions. And no, I don't have anymore. And.

^_^

Fast forward through a busy few days of nothing and I arrive to, yesterday I think. I noticed the front driver's side tyre looked slightly flat, though a quick check by a local garage revealed the tyre to still be at 30psi. Interestingly though, the valve was leaking slightly, as demonstrated by the frothing of the soapy liquid. Mmm, hot, frothy valves. *Ahem*. I'll need to keep an eye on that. Whilst having the wheel off, I thought it was opportune to check the wheel offsets too so as to know what to shop for once some amount of money should unwittingly fall into my lap (people with said surplus of money can contact me via email for my laps' address). Ah. 15x7 ET11 for the front. Not a particularly common offset (says me with the ET7 on the Cynos ^_^). And the rear one - 15x7.5 ET5. Ah. Stance explained, kkthx.

One factor became immediately apparent as well whilst the car was lifted to remove the wheels. Firstly, there is no wheel travel (No Shart -_-). At all. As well as the fact that the chassis isn't stiff. At all. As well. Infact, the door couldn't be opened with the car slightly jacked up. This is something I had noticed as well going over those infernal speed bump island POS's, with only one side of the car - lots of creaking. That will need to be rectified somehow. For no tangible reason other than, its something I've noted, and I'm bored, and want to pretend I know what I'm doing by creating a solution for a problem I made up. Score.

This exorbitant conflagration of spiralling costs and labour were yet to cede. I returned home, deflated, a shell of the boy I used to be, for I was to attack the most arduous task as of yet in my 6 years of automotive ownership. Remove some of the window deflector clips.

Well it was cold! And they're small and sharp and could hurt me :(

Anyway, 5 seconds worth of unscrewing the chrome window trims allowed me to remove several of the deflector clips, however a couple on each front door remain, as I believe they may be held in by the window seal and are far too energy intensive to be a concern for now. Onto the boot leak. By far the most concerning issue about the Cefiroluls, apart from its awesome stance (teehee), was the fact that the Boot Mat was essentially a big sheet of blue cheese. It was mouldy. COMPLETELY. And it perfumed the car with a pungent overtone of Gorgonzola. The source of which was clearly evident on opening the bootlid one morning dewy morning, to find a little mischievous puddle of fungus party on the right hand side corner by the wheel well. So, as feeling and groping the bootlid opening revealed no concise culprit, I clambered in and closed the bootlid. O.M.G. You could fit several of me in here! Note to people who owe me money. You can fit in my boot. Err. So, yeah. You may find yourselves in a dark boot on a mouldy mat for some minutes of discomfort. Let that image haunt you!

Before this I made a semi-startling discovery - wondering how a person locked in the boot should escape should the unlikely scenario arise, I noticed a little lever by the boot lock mechanism; I pulled it up, closed the boot. Then I tried to unlock it with the key. Uh, TF? Boot Release in the cabin. Nada. Errr. Halp. Fortunately I managed to unlock it again by using a 2m long curtain rail through the drop down hatch behind the arm-rest to release the little lever. A mildly annoying discovery. How dare it.

Anyway, whilst pretending to be bound and gagged and perspiring from the excitement, I noticed a little weeping from the boot lid seal directly above the location of the puddle. It would seem that the seal is letting in some water, though its peculiar as that was the first location I checked, and did not manage to determine anything conclusive on first inspection of the seal. No matter, I'll replace it, see if it fixes anything. Though I have noticed the boot lid is slightly raised when closed at the hinge on that side. Hmm.

Onto the second torturous straining of my fibre. In my quest to impress my mates with teh induction sounds bruv!, I sought to find an Airflow Meter Adaptor and matching conical air filter to replace the Air-box assembly. I was bored, and I had the aforementioned over-stocking of no money to waste. That and my primary reason (no, srsly!) was to hopefully improve economy filter. Anyway, after measuring the AFM PCD, I sought to find the required adaptor and filter. Found, though there was a kit on eGay for £58 delivered. Meh, worth a drive to Halfords and see if they can help (Lul). They couldn't. And leaving the car park I was forced to lower my window to an admirer who questioned why I didn't "drift the car bruv". Well. You took 5 hours to decide which windshield wipers to buy, and drive a Honda Civic. And I. Don't want to waste money and petrol and such futile activities. And yes, my slippers and pipe don me well.

Onto the final, quasi-stroke causing ardour of this episode. Writing this blog entry. That is all.

So much effort.

Also, here's the writer of the blog:



Regards,
Dead Bug(^_^)

Inspiration of the Cetacea

On first observing the Cefiro at the home of the seller, I was struck by one of those exceptional moments of clarity; the clear inspiration of the unremarkable shape of the Cefiro had immediately been starkly obvious. For upon viewing the car, I immediately drew connections - a particular trait of Japanese car aesthetics from the 1970's to the 1990's was the fact that inspiration was drawn, not created - between the Cefiro and a member of the Cetaceous (Whale) family. Not any ordinary, unmajestic, fat, barnacle-covered sea mammal mind you. Rather, a vehicle commonly referred to as "The Whale" (Or in Saudi, as "Saboona", which translates into Soap Bar).

Know what I'm talking about yet? No? Am I REALLY this much of a geek to draw out this torturous link for a design inspiration? Yes. Yes I am ^_^. Now, feast your eyes on the following Cefiro image:



And you just try and tell me that the sheer number, if not execution, of design similarities, isn't curious, with this lovely specimen:



Stop laughing. Whilst the Impala SS pictures is a heaving blob of metal, and the Cefiro is...a slightly lesser heaving, blob of metal, one design feature became instantly apparent to me as having been blatently plagiarised; the third side window is basically identical! And, that's it. No, ok, the remaining links are even more contrite, such as the shape of the repeater lenses, bumpers, window glasshouse, but. Yeah. Srsly Nissan, the Impala?! And yes, this generation of Impala came to market between 1991 to 1996, the A31 Cefiro being available from 1990ish to 1994. Hmm. I realise I may have just eviscerated the crux of the point I was making. Ignore that.

Is there any point to this post? Let me rebuttle with this: Is there any point to ANY of my posts? HAH! Paradoxeseses! Now I've made myself sad by implying my blog has no meaning :(

Note: I love the Impala SS and any attempt to deride it will be met with my Jihad on you, good day.

An explanation is in Order

Oh right, a description. Isn't it self explanatory? I went to go dogging, and found a Nissan Cefiro waiting there, so I snapped some pictures.

No really.

Ok not really.

So, yes, let me introduce you to, Cefiroluls, a 1994 A31 Nissan Cefiro SE. For the Bots and Google Directors that care about the destiny of the Cynos. Well, it's Hyperlinked as the "other" blog for a reason. It'll continue.

And what it continues to do is to unwork. So. Yeah. It means I stay at my desk. Writing these boredom-fuelled blog posts. Continuously. When not actually much is happening. Therefore, I decided, Ah-ha! Spend a lot of money, and I can continue doing not much. But, within the comfort of NOT being at my desk. WIN! So, the search started for a 2nd vehicle, and I was initially dumbstruck by one of my "trying to recapture the 80's" classification of vehicles I desire, a Nissan Laurel. Not any Laurel either, a 1988 version; boxy, 80's, drab, awesome.

I essentially love anything from the 80's. Apart from AIDS. And Shoulder pads. Apart from on Don Johnson, he could rock them. And the Laurel is quintessentially 80's. That is seriously as deep as the motive for my appreciation of the Laurel, it doesn't actually have any defining characteristics. Yet it still made it on my list of cars I would like to buy, and hence will do research on. Anyway, most of the searches turned out 'Tardmission (Auto's) Laurels, until I spotted a rather, well, unsubtle one, that was apparently a Banzai Magazine project car. And it was manual. And it had Independent Rear Suspension. What what, a suitably rare variant of a box? WANT.

But it was sold. Prick. However, another was found, on eBay. And. Holy Something Holy. 36,000mi from NEW?!! WANT MOAR! z0mg. It ACTUALLY is...the same colour...as my newly painted bedroom. It's a sign. I am retarded but, it's still a sign! Cue frenzied phone call, guy won't budge on my extremely limited budget. Blast. Then I start obsessing about said vehicle, and start stalking the seller, leading to a termination in communication. BLAST! So in the midst of all this, the search goes on, looking for cars in the pre-1990's vintage, and for cheap. All the while keeping this information secluded from key figures.

I crumbled in the face of one said figure though, stating how I wanted to purchase the Laurel. To which he e-vomited. Unfortunately people aren't blessed with the rich and colourful taste I was imbued with, but nevertheless, once Harry stopped laughing, he sent me a link from Driftworks for a car. Way out of budget, but it looked stunning. And it was a car I had intentions of researching, especially for use in Saudi Arabia, as they are plentiful there (albeit in a slightly altered form), and usually cheap. The car, just seemed right. And it wasn't the Cefiro.


Ok, it was.

Alas, I had no money. Yet the enabler insisted I borrowed an inordinate amount of capitol from him to pay for it. He basically forced it upon me, manhandled it upon me. RAVAGED it upon me. Etc. Anyway, went to see the vehicle, fell in love, yada yada yada, buyer wanted to do some ridiculous scheme to procure another Cefiro, bla bla bla, made me wait, I cried. Then I picked it up, and I'm a contented little girl.

So, what is its purpose? Well, it's a stand-in, a second car, a means of transport. Hold on, I already said this, it's my getaway from my desk car! Keep up! GAWD. Yet, you know well enough that this vehicle will not be left unabused by me. The other blog is plenty testament to this. However, in the interest of sanity of mind and safety of my knee caps in lieu of any potential debt collectors, I will leave a reasonable amount of time to pass before any major plans. However, I am a fan of tradition, in this sense meaning keeping a vehicle within its engine family. And the Cefiro came with an RB20DET in some guises; a twin-camshaft turbocharged variant of my Anaemic RB20E. That is all to be said. That and the Cefiro shares a lot of chassis structures/components with the R32 Skyline/C33 Laurel etc. Now that is all. For now.

Well, that, and, I do intend on freshening up the car a little bit anyway. It's an amazingly low mileage example, apparently only having 37,000mi run under its wheels since its inception. I have my doubts, but alas, I don't care. What few negatives exist are quite trivial; molten demister grilles, broken grille clips, mouldy boot mat, and so on. These will all be easy to rectify. So, not. Bothered. Well, I am, but. MEH.

What is the barge like to drive? Well. A barge. It literally requires a body of water in which to navigate in. However, travelling on water has the benefit of modicum of comfort. Even with about 0.1mm of suspension travel on some rather hard coilovers. Obviously the tall tyres did their part to help take the edge off of the road imperfections, but it is a distinct difference to the other cars I have regularly driven in the UK. Not that it is hard to improve over the mobile anal probe Cynos, and the Kia Cee'd. Marketed. Not engineered. Saying that though, at an internet quoted 1290kg, the Cefiro is certainly not a swine of a car, and the lowered ride height certainly serve to make the car feel athletic on its feet. Well, until the tyres rub on the arches. At every bump. Especially on the driver's side. A minor annoyance, but the car just looks too well at it's current ride-height. Despite it not being able to crest over the driveway. Don't hate it cause its beautiful! Hate me. It sustains me ^_^

Another quirk has made its self known, quite surprisingly as well. For what I thought would be a mild Differential, the standard issue VLSD is rather vicious! On tight corners the vehicle just lurches, locks a wheel and generally misbehaves. Annoying, as I don't want to entertain such yobbery, and, the dearth of low-end Torque wouldn't really achieve much. Meh. I'll cope. Other than this less than cohesive account of the driving experience, reasoning of being and whatnot, I actually did something to it as well. Which I won't type here, as it Google won't let me.

And then, I valeted the car! Yeah, stfu, I even valeted the Cynos occasionally, but you tell me the point of cleaning the interior of an interiorless car. PRECISELY. Being a car of such sparse mileage, the interior was already exquisitely clean, especially the rear, other than the usual dust/debris, but the seats and carpets were generally spotless. I feel dirty. And I absurdly find myself wanting to treat this car in a comprehensively different manner to the Cynos. A manner I wish I would've had the initiative to treat the Paseo to. Complete, and religious maintenance and systematic approach to changes and processes. Obviously it is all in vain, I won't follow any of it, but as long as I pretend I will, then it will count. As such I have already drafted lists to document a maintenance schedule, the requisite expenditure list (this time incorporating running costs. Yes, I'm going to write down the fuel costs and mileages. See what I mean about getting away from my desk?) and so forth. And whilst the bodywork isn't as immaculate as was intimated, I do want to at least make a substantially miniscule effort towards the preservation of the exterior aesthetics. And to this end, I will force Bill to clean the car for me, in return for looking pretty for him. He will oblige.

So there you go, the journey of Cefiroluls has commenced. Introduced by this rather haphazard and non-linear train of thought. O_o.

And yes, I aim to redo the pictures at my new favourite location ever, hopefully ith a tripod. I don't mean me either, giggidy. Also, here's a bug, on the web (HAH!) ^_^

We Am Cefiroluls

P.S. I know the pictures are Poop (>_<)

スタート!

^_^