Of HR-V Drivers and Der Mens

Well, I stood by my promise, motivated by intense, cataclysmic boredom, and went and took some further pictures that don't seem to be taken from the perspective of a blind man on this occurrence:












This hill was traversed rather easily - at the top where some of the below pictures were taken, I was questioned by a Surrey man "Comme?!" as he struggled to get out of his driveway with his 4x4. Obviously being a Surrey man, he would drive something that would largely be out of depth in a pothole, like a Lexus RX, I would think. Ironically, this time last year I couldn't climb that same hill with the Cynos. As it was on summer tyres. And it can defend itself. And stfu:




This picture isn't the pinnacle of missed focus, but rather, I am highlighting the life of the snow bank I destroyed a couple of nights ago:


So a lot of samey, non-adventurous, poorly centred pictures. Meh.

Oh the title? Largely irrelevant, but it seemed like a Honda HR-V Driver driving by on a country lane chose to act-out his inner inadequacies and mind largely bereft of any cerebral activity by giving my the "I touch myself with this hand" signal. Peculiar.

Oh and, Cefiru sees you ^_^


*Sigh*

Epins Snow Tyres of Destinrar

I think it would suffice to say, that I am relatively content with the performance demonstrated by my new snow tyres - the Goodyear Ultragrip 7+ - in a couple of outings in these last couple of snowraped days. Especially considering I made it up my 90% incline driveway despite it being covered in around 6 inches of snow. Yet alone the hill. Yes, a 90% incline would be a vertical face. That's how steep the driveway is.

So, onto an attempted coherent review of the tyres! Well, not really, but an attempt to not sound contrite/clueless ^_^

I do not actually know why I had never purchased Winter tyres beforehand. Well, actually I do. I was too cheap. And gloated when my other car made it up the hill with Summer tyres on, but being a front-wheel drive vehicle, it naturally has a larger percentage of weight over the driven wheels and hence a larger amount of tractive force, giving it an inherent advantage in snow. That, and it avoids the peculiar issue of motion of travel being perpendicular to the direction of drive that the Cefiroluls seemed to suffer from whenever it span its wheels and sought to kill me o_o

I was also concerned with the inordinate amount of effort required, to switch wheels every winter. I may have even broken a sweat. A primary cause of deliberation however was the dry weather performance of snow tyres - considering they are constructed to deal with one extreme of conditions, I would feel no tyre could be such a veritable master of versatility. True, the manufacturers claim that in Cold weather in the dry, their snow tyres can muster enough traction under braking to perhaps stop before the end of time. I don't like compromise though. And the aforementioned effort that would've been added. It would've made fairies cry.

And so it would seem - whilst far more comfortable than the objects of perpendicular motion previously installed on the car, I am sure I can feel a curious "floating" sensation at higher speeds on a dry road. I would pin this down to the fact that snow tyres are inevitably extremely soft in compound, and as I found out, the sidewall as well. I have yet to read further in to the matter but essentially snow tyres are made from a particularly soft durometer rubber compounds which help to provide grip in the snow, and to that end I would think the Sidewalls too are quite soft. As I saw visually when the tyres were being fitted to the wheels. This is further amplified by the copious tread blocks and siping on the wheel (to clear snow/debris/fairy corpses out and such), which would flex very easily. It is not a particularly worrying trait, introducing some vagueness just off-center to the steering, and feeling as if there are constant cross-winds at high speed, but it is evident. Hmm.

They are very cushioning though, as you would expect tyres made of sheep's wool and duck down to essentially be, almost too much so, maintaining the wafting sensation on snow and ice. Which is basically inevitable. Redundant point. STFU. However, what is immediately apparent though is.

















And so onto the next point.




^_^

It is quite apparent on cornering that, there is an impressive degree of grip being generated. It's not a fathomable "z0mg G-FORCESz0r!!1!" sensation, but rather a "Wow, I'm actually turning in the direction I wish to move in" situation. Upping the speed or severity of steering inputs will serve to put that confidence in its place, but it is notable all the same. As well as braking grip in the thick snow - instead of sliding endlessly into oblivion and beyond, perhaps pirouetting and doing a little dance in the meantime, the car actually seems dig into the surface of the ice. So much so that it is actually parked right now, on a vertical driveway. On a layer of snow. Point. In. Case. And despite my geriatric mentality, I have also found that the tyres do seem to hold powerslides quite well.

I on the other hand, don't.

Ok, let me rephrase - a powerslide is probably an optimistic term for the Cefiroluls, no offence to the cetacean. More like a momentary-underpowered-breaking-of-traction-slither, slide. It is rather amusing though, as where you would expect the car to continue into an arc de triomph when the slide initiates, it just hangs at a small angle of slip till the car decides it looks silly and straightens up. So naturally to exacerbate the situation, I try to "flick" the car. All I achieve is some pendulum motion. The tyres do not say "idiot-proof" for a reason. So yeah. It won't deal with my abysmal attempts at doing a Pentti Airkala. I don't know why I said that, I have no pretensions of such, I know I'm just releasing my inner hoon. And looking predictably silly. I even forget how to steer in these slide attempts.

And as such, I spunded. I only choose quiet desolate roads, so, the only thing damaged was some snowy verge. I will write my letter of condolences to its family. Or not. In all. I am contented in the purchase of these tyres. But you'd know that. As it was in the introductory paragraph. So. Yeah.

So, with new found confidence in tyres established, I've been wasting more petrol than necessary going out for snow driveluls. I take a sizeable loop taking me through some lovely country roads covered in snow of doom, and some A-roads. This did not pan out yesterday. Obviously it would take a special kind of stupid to decide on the basis of the traffic seen on the other side of the A-road to "take the M25 as a short cut". Two hours later. I return from the 5 mile jaunt. I had realised I was the purveyor of on Epic Fail of Destinous Proportions (>_<). I re-attempted later on in order to take some scenic pictures, but the master of timing that I am, go too late. I.e. when there's no light. So. The pictures are rubbish, but some were not complete and utter abortions:









I will follow the route again today and preferably with the camera stand, and with some common sense to do it when there is a semblance of natural light abound. After which I will cry about the petrol consumed. Copious tears.

So in short - Snow tyres, good. Me. Fail. Not that it needed saying.

Also, Cefiroluls tried to tempt me to some yellow snow. I wouldn't bite. Dirty slut.

Preparing for the Inevitable, Delayed by the Inevitable

+

+

=


Snow-ready, yay!

Well, it would've, if the valves had fit, and I doubt the tyres were filled with Nitrogen, but yeah, Snow tyres, finally on! Well, after all the snow has melted o_o. I also had to wait for two chaotically uneventful hours for them to get installed. As of yet, I have not formed any cohesive subjective analysis on the tyres, as, well, there's no snow, HOW OF THE EVRARS, they do seem to ride FAR quieter and also take a further edge off of sharp intrusions. I look forward to seeing if this translates into improved fuel economy - by dint of no more swerving from potholes that will eat me, and less rolling friction. I am FTG [For the Geek]. I know. Oh, I have finally also re-arranged the laws of physics and managed to fit the lunar orbital mass, within a whale. Just like that. No lie! Srsly, picture to prove:


Ok, so its not as huge as I had expected - only 10mm more than its predecessor - however, slight annoyances are already abound. Well. For others, as the horn actually works! They'll hear me tooting now; all those idiots on the road that have blissfully wrecked along their wretched paths of complete ignorance, shall continue not caring for their actions, albeit, under the attack of my horn blare.

Epic Horn of Destiny



However, being of a less "Deep-dish" [If I hear/read "Dishu" you will be eSlapped] predisposition as the Sparco steering wheel - it has a 20mm more positive offset - means that my arms are now straighter out when driving, which requires more effort. EFFORTS. And that's basically it really. Otherwise its pretty and feels lovely and will be replaced by the 340mm one when it arrives -_-. Err. Yeah. So I'm now snow-ready, and able to vent anger with an audible expletive at every living thing. Done.

Oh, I've also received this:



Que?

My Ferrari Wannabe wheels that I cannot fit ofcourse!




Wubs ^_^

Teh Snowes

Cefiroluls is ATROCIOUS with it.



But it wubs it ^_^

That is all.

And after a quick shower, I've now mustered up some can-be-bothered to clarify that little statement. I have finally managed to bring the Whale down to the bottom of the hill, and for a quick drive. By now you should be thinking "Well no shizzee it's terrible in the snow, whales swim, they don't slither over ice". You would be correct.

After what must be the greatest expenditure of effort in my life, well, after the blog post from a few days ago, a full 2-3 hours spent of shovelling snow yesterday amounted to absolutely nothing. And it was truly effort. I broke out into a sweat. Out in the snow! I was actually taking off clothes as I was getting too heated, much to my neighbours visual pleasure. So. Would the Cee'd, blocking the Cefiroluls slide path into white oblivion, easily manoeuvre out in this vast building foundation I had just dug out of the snow? MMMMM. No. Just helplessly spin its wheel, beach itself on the snow, and die. After repeated efforts of digging out, further useless wheel spinning, and not actually moving down the hill but rather, across it, I made like a French man and made love.

Then I surrendered. I had evening plans, so I decided, on a rather naive presumption - TFL said trains were cancelled till 10AM...well, all day - to walk down to the station to catch a train. That wasn't there. It must be said that my previous fondness for snow has long since melted. It made me miss an appointment at Boisdales. Snow, thine mortal enemy forever more. Anyway. On to today. I had noticed a particular idiot that has doing his best attempt to, well, I don't know, what else would you categorise a tool in a Range Rover trying to do a turn in the road on a very steep hill covered in a layer of 12" of snow in the proximity of a neighbours' car? Regardless. If his mobile church managed to get up the hill...then. Maybe. MAY OF THE BES. The snow had melted enough to get the cars down. JUBILASHUNS!!1!one!

So, much digging, much scowling at some annoying abortions/kids - I know I'm as tall as them, I don't know why they insist on talking to me? Can't they realise they're repulsive little turds and I am no fan of such - and. Eventually. The Cee'd got down. Woot! Ran straight up, Cefiroluls turn. So. Wow. I thought traction was bad in the wet. It basically has none. I think the tyres are made of teflon. As. No actual forward movement, other than the force of gravity repelling this lunar mass. The luls is right with the naming of the car, for at any hint of spinning wheels the car goes "LULS" and its sideways. NO. I want to go THERE, not in a circle! "LULS" and I'm facing the sky. o_o

Again. Much digging, and, eventually. Got it down! As well as doing the street a service by essentially ploughing the road. I did notice a peculiarity though - the car is leaking a yellow liquid from the passenger-side rear. It's odourless though, and petrol filler is on the other side. Hmm. I'll need to have it checked. So. What's the car like driving? Terrible. But awesome. Anything approaching pressure on the throttle produces wheelspin, which as I've mentioned generates laterluls movement, and not forward motion. However, its all very docile and easy to catch, despite being on largely frictionless surface of snow/ice/baby fairies. Going down a quiet road, I decided to unleash my inner Burberry and execute some rubbish flicks with a bit of throttle for brief instances of lateral luls, to which I'd counter and catch. It just all happens in pleasing slow motion.

Ah Cefiroluls indeed ^_^.

Also. I need my snow tyres. NAO.

Peek-a-boo!

I see Cefiruuu ^_^


Yeah, weather pwnt me. Hard.


Very hard o_o