The Height of Callous Logic

Hmm, it would seem like I am starting a music-based loop in my titling. Meh, it's better than some of the heinous creations before. This is an important issue, and you shall find importance with it, like I have.

:c

So, for the one person that reads the blog, and the no persons that reads this blog as well as the other, you will know, that I have recently added considerably to the festering mess currently residing in my room. And all the other detritus that isn't me. So, behold!

Basically none of it necessary, woot! Some of it isn't even mine, so fear not, those Kirsten Dunst Lazy-eye Headlights will feature nowhere in my vicinity. So what will feature, somewhere in the next couple of millenia or so? Not so much for the Cefiroluls, having shown myself some measured restraint/millions of missed auctions:

What you see there are:

- Useless rubbish

- Moar useless detritus

- A carpet

- Coilovers

- Wins Deflectors [not a typo]

- Another Nardi Steering Wheel

- A trunk brace

So, now to systematically explain my actions.

The Win Deflectors. Deflectors of Destiny. Deflectors of many wins. These actually need no explanation, they are deflectors and wins. And the Cefiro previously had its ones ripped off by an obviously brain-dead moron whose wish it was to make me cry. And he succeeded. The tabs are mostly in place too in the car, though, I still have no clue how the hell those, and the deflectors, become one.

It will be figured out, and it will look awesome. NEXT.

The coilovers, why? As some would say, you already have perfectly good ones and you're not going to track your car and insert some self-assertive opinion and STFU. You want to know why? I know you don't, but humour me. This is why:

Yes, we am, a Keiichi whore. A Tsuchiya tart. I'm just a slut. And for this, I make no excuse. Actually, the real reason I bought the coilovers are several, primarily of which I thought the Apex Coilovers currently installed were destroyed, for they were clunking. Loudly.

Turns out, the collar is just loose. More excuse hunting. Ah yes, they're not JDM. Yes, I am quite conceited but let me at least explain - as my rather insane expenditure proves, I do not take shortcuts. True, I have not yet accomplished anything with either vehicle or proven the worth of my expenditure, but for me, companies like Apex, Driftworks, et al, exist for no other reason than to make a profit out of a given market. They do not do the development, for the development is carried out by the companies that made the products theirs emulate. Speculation, granted, but I would feel it to be true on the most part.

Keiichi Tsuchiya is a man renowned for his knowledge of the car, handling, and racing. And so, I would trust his judgement over a CTRL+C Manufacturer. Not to say I would use the car in such a manner - though, I will eventually get the car to a condition where it will not feel totally out of place on a Track Day - but I would feel the components would be more accomplished. If only in my mind. That, and the damping on the Apex coilovers are really terrible. Soft springs and harsh rebound is how it feels to me, with plenty of vertical oscillation on certain bumps, which is amusing/irritating in equal measures. Last time I remembered similar occurences was when the rear JIC Coilovers on the Cynos had seized. Oh, and unlike they seem to have a reputation for, these coilovers are pleasantly devoid of leaking fluids and blood and STD's.

The steering wheel is rather self-explanatory - I am. Converting the Cefiro, to dual controls. So. I shall need two steering wheels. That is all that needs saying.

And being constipated after eating a 0.5kg bag of Kettle Crisps is delightful. No, the leather steering wheel was, and always will be a rash purchase - as I have copiously mentioned, it is as big as a galactic body, not too dissimilar to our current moon. However, it was Nardi and leather and bid. So, it was always in my intentions to purchase a smaller Nardi steering wheel, the lunar one was just going to tide me over with a Nardi fix. Yes, shallow muches. And, almost immediately, one was found! And as it was sent by Foot Mail, I have just received it. And there's a dead postman on my door step, every Rose has it's thorn etc. And, holy luls, what a difference.

No, srsly, there is a difference! Look!

See?!

Well, bah to you! It turned out to be a pleasant surprise that it is suede, for I heart it. Hard.

And in an event that can only be recognised officially as the Buddhist Karmic Festival of Epic Wins, I got yet another, USEFUL freebie. Yes. A useful purchase. And I didn't catapult a small country's earnings at it!

Now I can better reach the wheel, YAYAYAYEPICYAYS!

Mind you, yesterday was interesting, as in my rush - yes, I actually installed this in the same decade, space of two days actually! - to have this installed, something was certainly off. I was travelling in a straight line, yet my hands were at "Five to Five". Hmm. Odd. That, is probably, slightly incorrect. For going in a straight line necessitated canting the steering wheel around 65 degrees to the right. Ah. Oh well, cannot dillydally, have an appointment in London. I'll just have to, hold on, I don't do logic or thinking, I'll think of a solution later.

It made driving interesting, as it basically obscured the left-hand side of the speedometer. Meh. Unimportant issue. Which was rectified today. I KNOW! I'm on a roll. Actually, I was quite apprehensive of tackling the issue, as trying the same in the Cynos a couple of years ago resulted in hours of wrestling, in mud, and taking my clothes off and...

*Ahem*

Attempting to wrestle off the steering wheel for aeons, to no avail. Finally only a bearing puller at Harvey's workshop/barn would achieve what literally took 5 minutes to achieve in the Cefiro. OH.

So yeah, basically, no such issue with the Cefiroluls - it's luls for a reason! - bolt off, jiggle wheel off, reposition at a not-so-retarded-it's-actually-befitting-of-me orientation, bolt on, use a mallet to seat the horn button back in [Again, ya, rly], and, done. Donedy done. DONE.

And now I fall right back to retardations with this:

A brace. For the trunk. It is. A trunk brace. DING! That is the sound of an idea lighting in someone's head, as obviously, my head is a prehistoric cave. But wait. I have a motive! And what terrible motive. It is quite similar to the MO of another obscure purchase, for the Cynos this time. In essence - missed an auction, got bored/annoyed, bid on something else just to fill that void. Ya rly. ^_^

If you are waiting for me to justify myself, you'll be waiting a long while.

A very long while..

...Did you know that the S15 Spec-R Silvia had a similar trunk brace too? Brace, now worthy, DONE! ^_^

Oh, also, for such a small brace, it actually feels like it was formed out of a sumo wrestler. I'm presuming that is a dense material. It paints my picture. Palm to face. So, what next, gold-plated tyres? Duck down-stuffed cigarette lighter? Certainly, all due in short order. Mentioning tyres though, I would think, my grasps on the hope of another catatonic snow-out should loosen now, and as a result, I should ideally get some more adept rubber on the car. Seeing as the winter tyres are even starting to chunk due to their very soft construction.

Otherwise, not really much else is in store, either in the near future or in grander terms - I obviously have enough debris scattered across the house to keep me busy with installations on either car. The main priority is to get the Cynos at least mobile, and from there on I will be more compelled - once the Cefiro can actually crest the driveway - to get some items installed on the Nissan Cetacean . As such, I would hope especially to get the Kei Office Coilovers on soon, and professionally aligned/corner-weighted so as to at least keep me happy for a while. Until I get bored of keeping a "Fuel Economy" table.

It always seems that I manage to write endless legions of text to explain the most inane occurences, yet when something a bit more profound occurs, I let the pictures explain. I don't do logic, kkthx ^_^.

Holder, HOLDER. Holder of Cups I'm Pulling your Strings!

Greatness.

A measure of success. Of grand endeavours. Achievements of Epic Proportions. The Cefiro has reached that as of today. Behold, the single most epic enhancement performed on the Cefiroluls:




I absolutely. Wubs. This. Cubby box. Of Destiny. So much so I have Google'd the Act of "Dysfunctional Obsession of Storage Compartments", no results, but I shall create this -Philia. Not only is the Cetacean now a dashing looker and an endlessly comfortable barge, but, it now...



Can hold my cups!

^_^

Oh, and in his copious generosity, Shuhei gifted me some Starlet Steering bosses, one of which came with a handy steering wheel spacer, which I've happily installed:



Now I can reach the wheel, yay! Well, I could ideally use a few millimeters more but little joys at a time lest I should risk my beating heart implode from the heady mix of adrenaline. Next step, find a way to get rid of the booster seat I'm having to use to reach the pedals. And receive the next few packages incoming from Nippons.

Of HR-V Drivers and Der Mens

Well, I stood by my promise, motivated by intense, cataclysmic boredom, and went and took some further pictures that don't seem to be taken from the perspective of a blind man on this occurrence:












This hill was traversed rather easily - at the top where some of the below pictures were taken, I was questioned by a Surrey man "Comme?!" as he struggled to get out of his driveway with his 4x4. Obviously being a Surrey man, he would drive something that would largely be out of depth in a pothole, like a Lexus RX, I would think. Ironically, this time last year I couldn't climb that same hill with the Cynos. As it was on summer tyres. And it can defend itself. And stfu:




This picture isn't the pinnacle of missed focus, but rather, I am highlighting the life of the snow bank I destroyed a couple of nights ago:


So a lot of samey, non-adventurous, poorly centred pictures. Meh.

Oh the title? Largely irrelevant, but it seemed like a Honda HR-V Driver driving by on a country lane chose to act-out his inner inadequacies and mind largely bereft of any cerebral activity by giving my the "I touch myself with this hand" signal. Peculiar.

Oh and, Cefiru sees you ^_^


*Sigh*

Epins Snow Tyres of Destinrar

I think it would suffice to say, that I am relatively content with the performance demonstrated by my new snow tyres - the Goodyear Ultragrip 7+ - in a couple of outings in these last couple of snowraped days. Especially considering I made it up my 90% incline driveway despite it being covered in around 6 inches of snow. Yet alone the hill. Yes, a 90% incline would be a vertical face. That's how steep the driveway is.

So, onto an attempted coherent review of the tyres! Well, not really, but an attempt to not sound contrite/clueless ^_^

I do not actually know why I had never purchased Winter tyres beforehand. Well, actually I do. I was too cheap. And gloated when my other car made it up the hill with Summer tyres on, but being a front-wheel drive vehicle, it naturally has a larger percentage of weight over the driven wheels and hence a larger amount of tractive force, giving it an inherent advantage in snow. That, and it avoids the peculiar issue of motion of travel being perpendicular to the direction of drive that the Cefiroluls seemed to suffer from whenever it span its wheels and sought to kill me o_o

I was also concerned with the inordinate amount of effort required, to switch wheels every winter. I may have even broken a sweat. A primary cause of deliberation however was the dry weather performance of snow tyres - considering they are constructed to deal with one extreme of conditions, I would feel no tyre could be such a veritable master of versatility. True, the manufacturers claim that in Cold weather in the dry, their snow tyres can muster enough traction under braking to perhaps stop before the end of time. I don't like compromise though. And the aforementioned effort that would've been added. It would've made fairies cry.

And so it would seem - whilst far more comfortable than the objects of perpendicular motion previously installed on the car, I am sure I can feel a curious "floating" sensation at higher speeds on a dry road. I would pin this down to the fact that snow tyres are inevitably extremely soft in compound, and as I found out, the sidewall as well. I have yet to read further in to the matter but essentially snow tyres are made from a particularly soft durometer rubber compounds which help to provide grip in the snow, and to that end I would think the Sidewalls too are quite soft. As I saw visually when the tyres were being fitted to the wheels. This is further amplified by the copious tread blocks and siping on the wheel (to clear snow/debris/fairy corpses out and such), which would flex very easily. It is not a particularly worrying trait, introducing some vagueness just off-center to the steering, and feeling as if there are constant cross-winds at high speed, but it is evident. Hmm.

They are very cushioning though, as you would expect tyres made of sheep's wool and duck down to essentially be, almost too much so, maintaining the wafting sensation on snow and ice. Which is basically inevitable. Redundant point. STFU. However, what is immediately apparent though is.

















And so onto the next point.




^_^

It is quite apparent on cornering that, there is an impressive degree of grip being generated. It's not a fathomable "z0mg G-FORCESz0r!!1!" sensation, but rather a "Wow, I'm actually turning in the direction I wish to move in" situation. Upping the speed or severity of steering inputs will serve to put that confidence in its place, but it is notable all the same. As well as braking grip in the thick snow - instead of sliding endlessly into oblivion and beyond, perhaps pirouetting and doing a little dance in the meantime, the car actually seems dig into the surface of the ice. So much so that it is actually parked right now, on a vertical driveway. On a layer of snow. Point. In. Case. And despite my geriatric mentality, I have also found that the tyres do seem to hold powerslides quite well.

I on the other hand, don't.

Ok, let me rephrase - a powerslide is probably an optimistic term for the Cefiroluls, no offence to the cetacean. More like a momentary-underpowered-breaking-of-traction-slither, slide. It is rather amusing though, as where you would expect the car to continue into an arc de triomph when the slide initiates, it just hangs at a small angle of slip till the car decides it looks silly and straightens up. So naturally to exacerbate the situation, I try to "flick" the car. All I achieve is some pendulum motion. The tyres do not say "idiot-proof" for a reason. So yeah. It won't deal with my abysmal attempts at doing a Pentti Airkala. I don't know why I said that, I have no pretensions of such, I know I'm just releasing my inner hoon. And looking predictably silly. I even forget how to steer in these slide attempts.

And as such, I spunded. I only choose quiet desolate roads, so, the only thing damaged was some snowy verge. I will write my letter of condolences to its family. Or not. In all. I am contented in the purchase of these tyres. But you'd know that. As it was in the introductory paragraph. So. Yeah.

So, with new found confidence in tyres established, I've been wasting more petrol than necessary going out for snow driveluls. I take a sizeable loop taking me through some lovely country roads covered in snow of doom, and some A-roads. This did not pan out yesterday. Obviously it would take a special kind of stupid to decide on the basis of the traffic seen on the other side of the A-road to "take the M25 as a short cut". Two hours later. I return from the 5 mile jaunt. I had realised I was the purveyor of on Epic Fail of Destinous Proportions (>_<). I re-attempted later on in order to take some scenic pictures, but the master of timing that I am, go too late. I.e. when there's no light. So. The pictures are rubbish, but some were not complete and utter abortions:









I will follow the route again today and preferably with the camera stand, and with some common sense to do it when there is a semblance of natural light abound. After which I will cry about the petrol consumed. Copious tears.

So in short - Snow tyres, good. Me. Fail. Not that it needed saying.

Also, Cefiroluls tried to tempt me to some yellow snow. I wouldn't bite. Dirty slut.

Preparing for the Inevitable, Delayed by the Inevitable

+

+

=


Snow-ready, yay!

Well, it would've, if the valves had fit, and I doubt the tyres were filled with Nitrogen, but yeah, Snow tyres, finally on! Well, after all the snow has melted o_o. I also had to wait for two chaotically uneventful hours for them to get installed. As of yet, I have not formed any cohesive subjective analysis on the tyres, as, well, there's no snow, HOW OF THE EVRARS, they do seem to ride FAR quieter and also take a further edge off of sharp intrusions. I look forward to seeing if this translates into improved fuel economy - by dint of no more swerving from potholes that will eat me, and less rolling friction. I am FTG [For the Geek]. I know. Oh, I have finally also re-arranged the laws of physics and managed to fit the lunar orbital mass, within a whale. Just like that. No lie! Srsly, picture to prove:


Ok, so its not as huge as I had expected - only 10mm more than its predecessor - however, slight annoyances are already abound. Well. For others, as the horn actually works! They'll hear me tooting now; all those idiots on the road that have blissfully wrecked along their wretched paths of complete ignorance, shall continue not caring for their actions, albeit, under the attack of my horn blare.

Epic Horn of Destiny



However, being of a less "Deep-dish" [If I hear/read "Dishu" you will be eSlapped] predisposition as the Sparco steering wheel - it has a 20mm more positive offset - means that my arms are now straighter out when driving, which requires more effort. EFFORTS. And that's basically it really. Otherwise its pretty and feels lovely and will be replaced by the 340mm one when it arrives -_-. Err. Yeah. So I'm now snow-ready, and able to vent anger with an audible expletive at every living thing. Done.

Oh, I've also received this:



Que?

My Ferrari Wannabe wheels that I cannot fit ofcourse!




Wubs ^_^

Teh Snowes

Cefiroluls is ATROCIOUS with it.



But it wubs it ^_^

That is all.

And after a quick shower, I've now mustered up some can-be-bothered to clarify that little statement. I have finally managed to bring the Whale down to the bottom of the hill, and for a quick drive. By now you should be thinking "Well no shizzee it's terrible in the snow, whales swim, they don't slither over ice". You would be correct.

After what must be the greatest expenditure of effort in my life, well, after the blog post from a few days ago, a full 2-3 hours spent of shovelling snow yesterday amounted to absolutely nothing. And it was truly effort. I broke out into a sweat. Out in the snow! I was actually taking off clothes as I was getting too heated, much to my neighbours visual pleasure. So. Would the Cee'd, blocking the Cefiroluls slide path into white oblivion, easily manoeuvre out in this vast building foundation I had just dug out of the snow? MMMMM. No. Just helplessly spin its wheel, beach itself on the snow, and die. After repeated efforts of digging out, further useless wheel spinning, and not actually moving down the hill but rather, across it, I made like a French man and made love.

Then I surrendered. I had evening plans, so I decided, on a rather naive presumption - TFL said trains were cancelled till 10AM...well, all day - to walk down to the station to catch a train. That wasn't there. It must be said that my previous fondness for snow has long since melted. It made me miss an appointment at Boisdales. Snow, thine mortal enemy forever more. Anyway. On to today. I had noticed a particular idiot that has doing his best attempt to, well, I don't know, what else would you categorise a tool in a Range Rover trying to do a turn in the road on a very steep hill covered in a layer of 12" of snow in the proximity of a neighbours' car? Regardless. If his mobile church managed to get up the hill...then. Maybe. MAY OF THE BES. The snow had melted enough to get the cars down. JUBILASHUNS!!1!one!

So, much digging, much scowling at some annoying abortions/kids - I know I'm as tall as them, I don't know why they insist on talking to me? Can't they realise they're repulsive little turds and I am no fan of such - and. Eventually. The Cee'd got down. Woot! Ran straight up, Cefiroluls turn. So. Wow. I thought traction was bad in the wet. It basically has none. I think the tyres are made of teflon. As. No actual forward movement, other than the force of gravity repelling this lunar mass. The luls is right with the naming of the car, for at any hint of spinning wheels the car goes "LULS" and its sideways. NO. I want to go THERE, not in a circle! "LULS" and I'm facing the sky. o_o

Again. Much digging, and, eventually. Got it down! As well as doing the street a service by essentially ploughing the road. I did notice a peculiarity though - the car is leaking a yellow liquid from the passenger-side rear. It's odourless though, and petrol filler is on the other side. Hmm. I'll need to have it checked. So. What's the car like driving? Terrible. But awesome. Anything approaching pressure on the throttle produces wheelspin, which as I've mentioned generates laterluls movement, and not forward motion. However, its all very docile and easy to catch, despite being on largely frictionless surface of snow/ice/baby fairies. Going down a quiet road, I decided to unleash my inner Burberry and execute some rubbish flicks with a bit of throttle for brief instances of lateral luls, to which I'd counter and catch. It just all happens in pleasing slow motion.

Ah Cefiroluls indeed ^_^.

Also. I need my snow tyres. NAO.

Peek-a-boo!

I see Cefiruuu ^_^


Yeah, weather pwnt me. Hard.


Very hard o_o